How to erase selective memories

Did your puppy die young or did you trip into a manhole? Did you visit the dentist yesterday or did you find out your girlfriend was a boy? Bad things happen and as life would say - they have a right to happen. Given that we've suffered once through the torment should not mean we should retain memories that torture us for decades. But what is the solution?

So you want to know how to erase a certain portion of your memory. Welcome, you've come to the right place. After years (probably) of practice and grueling experience I bring the secret out to the world today. Honestly, I don't know how long I've been working on this as I've mistakenly erased all my progress more than once. Now I realize buying a diary would have been a good idea.

It will take you around an hour to erase memories worth a year but you have to be extremely careful. Oops, I almost forgot:

Disclaimer: Following this procedure might cause serious brain and memory damage. I don't want you to write an email to me saying you forgot your mother's maiden name! On second thought, I don't think you'll remember my email in any case, so knock yourself out.

The best and the worst thing about this self-treatment is that you will never know you did this to yourself. In fact, you won't even remember reading about it. So if you're thinking you're reading this article for the first time, think again. (This is where you stop reading and think because I asked you to) Okay don't stress your puny brain, it's no use. You will not be able to recall which memory you erased (Blah! What's the point otherwise) The worst part (for me) is that this will (supposedly) make your life better and you will not be able to show your gratitude by sending me free money. I suggest you send me a lot of money and gifts right now because I'm going to help you. Another point to remember is that you won't remember anything about this whole conversation we're having so you really can't refer friends or recommend me. There are, however, a few exceptions to this.

"Whoa! I don't remember very well but whatever this dude helped me to do must've been awesome! I brush my teeth everyday and I am happy. Isn't that enough for you guys?" -
Jack Prasad, Patna

"Unlike the genuis author, I maintained a diary of all the thoughts I erased. But now after erasing them I'm not sure whether I wrote them or one of my friends is playing a prank. This sucks!"
Sheela McWarth, Baltimore

If you are convinced that I can help you change your life and forget all the pain, Click here to buy the secret in ebook form. All this, because we should not suffer more than once. If you're not convinced it's because you have been cursed to live with all your painful memories and neither man nor beast can help you through it.

3 Comments:

  1. PehlaykaNataa said...
    i dont want to delete any painful memory
    howzzat

    reason being *now I am thing hard* that I dont have really painful memories. I dont. I have sad ones but then I have good ones too and the good ones are good only cuz I can compare them with sad ones and therefore identify them as good ones. Therefore, I cant afford to delete any memory.

    ZZZzzzzzzz
    PehlaykaNataa said...
    lol
    am i annoying or what!

    you should write more often and write stuff like ur v2.0
    Νεολαία ΛΑ.Ο.Σ said...
    Erase all bad memories and simply keep all the good ones!!! Greetings from Greece!!!

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